What do you say to a 3, 4, or 5-year-old once a loved one has passed away? This question floated through my mind when we lost our pastor's wife, who was also the Vacation Bible Camp director, and again when we lost my grandmother. There have been two strategies that have helped us navigate through this important concept.
Talk About Life, Death, and Heaven from a Biblical Perspective
If we believe the Bible is good and true, then we always must always seek and follow what is discovered. This is truly my goal as a mom and a children's ministry director.
Psalms 119:105
"Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path."
Here are a few scriptures that shaped our many conversations:
• Ecclesiastes 3:1-2b "To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; ....."
• John 14:2 "In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you."
• John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
Teachable Moment Tip: As you talk about heaven with young children, I have found that depending on the child's age this type of discussion is a gateway into something deeper, like salvation.
For example: One day, my five-year-old said "How do you get there? How do you go to heaven?" My face lit up because I knew this was the perfect opportunity to share John 3:16 and the powerful love of God demonstrated to humanity.
Read and Watch "Heaven is for Real"
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/67c44f_9b501521c7844ac3920604a52a7ea78c~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_522,h_522,al_c,q_80,enc_auto/67c44f_9b501521c7844ac3920604a52a7ea78c~mv2.jpg)
Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo as told by Colton Burpo, takes young children on a captivating journey of one child's real experience in heaven. The book and movie beautifully illustrate the hope and joy of heaven. Personally, I recommend the book first as it captures more details about heaven that will quickly captivate a young child's attention.
Bonus Tip: Don't be Afraid to Continue Heavenly Conversations
I remember after my pastor wife's died I was kind of shocked to hear how many more questions my five-year-old still had about heaven. Instead of shooting him down, I welcomed it.
When he asked questions like "Will there be toys there?" I often chuckled and would say "I am not sure, but I do know it will be awesome! "Or I'll say let's see what the Bible says.
These beautiful sometimes funny conversations have continued and when my grandmother died, he responded by saying "Is she on Earth?" I replied and said "She is in heaven," and he said "Yay" with much excitement.
There recently was one profound moment in which I heard him have a conversation with my three-year-old asking him if he wanted to go to heaven and if he believed in God. He urgently asked my three old with great concern as it was obvious that he wanted to make sure his brother was going to heaven. This warmed my heart as I realized his perspective of heaven is a good one.
What about you? Have you used any of these tips? Were any of these tips helpful?
Here are a couple of scriptures that have helped me as an adult and I pray it does the same for you!
Romans 8:18 NKJV
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. "
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
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